


Countdown

by Ellienerd14



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: AU, Crush, First Kiss, M/M, New Year's Eve, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-09-14 20:21:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9200894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellienerd14/pseuds/Ellienerd14
Summary: Based off Midnights by Rainbow Rowell.-The four midnights Simon and Baz spend together and the one where they kiss.





	1. Before

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by Midnights so I don't own the idea. 
> 
> Also follow me @Bazwillendinflames on Tumblr.

**December 31st - 2015**

It's dark and cold out here; sitting on the damp grass in the Bunce's garden. It's my own fault that my new jeans are now soaking and covered in mud. (I hope it's just mud at least). I'm shivering because it's midnight and I'm hidden in the shadows in a vampire-y way. Well more vampire-y than usual. (I didn't use words like 'vampire-y' before I knew Snow.) 

Out here, away from the music, I'm missing the party. It's bloody brilliant. I'd much rather eat the kind of sour cherry scones that Snow likes but can't have than be in there. He's inside somewhere, counting down with the rest of Penny's guests while I'm out here; missing the whole thing.

I should have thought of this years ago.

* * *

 

**December 31st - 2012**

I'm bored. I'm not sure why I'm even at this stupid party in the first place. I only accepted Penelope's invite because she's my only friend. And she's not even that. Really, she's my only acquaintance.

"Are there cherries in those scones?" A boy asks. A cute boy at least, with bronze curls sticking out at crazy angles under his Pokémon snapback. He's wearing a stained white t-shirt underneath and with a knitted purple and green scarf around his freckled neck.

"Sour cherries." I pick up a place card from next to the plate. (That's the kind of party I'm at. One where food is labelled.)

"They look so good." I think the boy is drooling.

"You're Simon Snow?" On the other side of the card Penelope has written 'DONT LET NEAR SIMON SNOW SALISBURY' in biro.

"Yeah." Simon says sadly. He's looking longingly at the buffet. "I can't eat them; I'm allergic to cherries. It might kill me."

"Is your middle name actually Snow?"

"My Mum thought it would be funny." Simon laughs awkwardly. "I don't tell people."

"Why?" I don't know why I'm asking. I know what it's like to have a ridiculous name. Maybe I just want Simon to stay.

"I don't want them to call me Snow."

"It's almost midnight." A girl calls. (I think it's the one who rides horses.)

"Ten!"

"Nine!" Penelope had joined in now, scrambling next to the blond on the sofa.

"Eight!" Other people were joining in.

"I'm Baz."

"Hi Baz." Simon grins at me, deciding to pass on the scones and shove a brownie in his mouth.

"Three!"

"Nice to meet you Snow."

"Two!"

"You too Baz."

"One!"

"Congratulations on not eating cherry scones and dying for another year."

* * *

 

**December 31st - 2013**

Snow is a wreck. Actually more surprisingly, Snow is a dancer. Just not a good one. He jumps off the table, actually jumps; like an idiot.

"Hey Baz." Snow sits next to me, all flushed and grinning. This year he's opted for a Doctor Who themed snap back and a galaxy t-shirt. He looks like a hipster and I can't tell if it's an improvement or not.

"Hey Snow. Nice dancing."

"I'm a dancing machine." Snow says proudly. He takes off his stupid hat and runs his other hand though his messy curls. "I love dancing."

I smile without meaning to. "I've noticed."

"I only get so many chances to dance." Snow says. He's still grinning like an idiot.

"Do you?" I want to sneer at him but I don't. It's a party after all.

"In public." Snow adds. "I like dancing in public."

"I've noticed." I pass Snow his hat back. "You were pulling faces at me."

Snow laughs. "That was me trying to lure you to the dance with me."

"You were dancing in socks on a coffee table." I point out. Snow had kicked his converses at me halfway though a Brittany Spears song.

"There was room for you Baz. There's always room for you and room for food."

I roll my eyes at him. "You like food more than me and most of it will kill you."

"I like you more. You're my best friend." Snow beams at me with full force. It makes me feel like I'm being warmed by the sun. I shouldn't like it; it also make me feel flammable.

"I thought Penelope was your best friend." Snow and Penelope are best friends. (They even have matching phone cases.)

"I have a lot of best friends." Snow says. He's too popular for his own good, all smiles and freckles and cute moles. "Penny is one of them. And Agatha and Micah and you."

"And food." I add. If Snow doesn't eat at least once every five minutes he acts like it's the end of the world.

"And you Baz. Especially you Baz. We should dance." Snow stands up but I pull him down again. He's more than my best friend. He's my _only_ best friend. I can't lose him to snacks or dancing.

"Where's Penelope now?" I ask. Snow loves talking. If I get him talking, he'd stay with me for a little longer.

"Over there. By Micah. He's trying to kiss her." Snow says with a shrug. I spot her red hair and black velvet dress. (Penelope is hard to miss.)

"At midnight?"

"Yeah." Snow replies.

I make myself roll my eyes even though Snow isn't looking. "Gross."

Snow laughs. "Kissing isn't gross Baz."

I think I'm blushing. I hate blushing and I only ever do it around Snow. "Using New Years Eve as an excuse to kiss someone is. What if Penelope doesn't want to kiss him?"

"Then Penny will say so. You have to hesitate before a first kiss Baz. It's rule one."

I try not to think of Snow hesitating in front of me, breathing onto my lips, leaning closer to kiss me.

"You have kissing rules?" I look at his stupid Dalek hat and not his lips. Or eyes. Snow has the most ordinary blue eyes but I still love them. They entance me. (They shouldn't. He shouldn't.) 

"I've kissed before. Two different girls." Snow says. I'm glad he's not looking at me now. I didn't think Snow had kissed girls. I've never asked. I didn't want to ask. I didn't want to know about any girls Snow's been seducing.

"Ten!" Micah taps on Penelope's shoulder. I turn away. (It seems private.)

Agatha yells the next number and sits next to Simon, pulling the stupid Dalek hat off his head. "Happy New Year."

Agatha is more Snow's friend then mine. She always dresses in pastels and does ballet in her spare time. She's very pretty and had pink glitter on her cheekbones.

"Three!"

"Happy New Year Agatha." Snow replies. His voice is different now; it sends shivers down my spine.

"One!"

Micah kisses Penelope.

Agatha kisses Simon.

I look away.


	2. After

**December 31st - 2014**

Snow is dancing again. He looks like an idiot and he didn't even bother with a snap back this time. Snow cut his hair this year, shaved the sides off and left a nest of messy bronze curls on the top of his head. I hoped that him getting a dorky haircut would make him less attractive. If anything it only made him look more attractive. It isn't fair - my heterosexuality never stood a chance against him.

"Baz."

Snow's wearing a grey suit with a white shirt underneath. Two of his top buttons are undone. He looks like model.

He acts like a toddler sometimes. (All the time.) Especially when he's dancing on a coffee table.

Still there's no denying Snow looks stunning in a grey suit. I want to grab him by his uneven collar and kiss him.

"Yes?" I ask. I sound mean. _Good_. I wore all black and slicked my hair. Might as well act like a vampire too. (Minus the biting part. I couldn't hurt anyone. Especially not Snow. Especially not Snow in a grey suit.)

"Dance with me?" Snow fixed eyes that shouldn't be so damn pretty at me. He's standing on the edge of the coffee table now. I think about pushing him off. And then lying on top of him and making a disgrace out of us both. (I'm disturbed, ask anyone.)

"I don't dance."

"But it's a party. All you're doing is moping. And eating." Snow looks at a plate of cherry scones in the way most people look at a burning orphanage.

"You'll get a horrific allergic reaction and ruin the whole party if you eat one." I remind Snow. Most sensible people would avoid snacks that kill them. (Possibly.) Not Snow. He's an idiot.

"Eat one for me." Snow asks. He has sad-burning-orphan eyes on me now. (I'm very disturbed.)

"You're a mess Snow." I take a bite anyway. Snow sighs like a maiden from a fairytale. (He loves sour cherry scones. They're deadly to him. He loves them anyway. Sometimes I can relate too much. Especially when he's dressed like that.)

"How is it?" Snow asks. He's looking at my mouth but for the wrong reasons.

"Delicious."

"I dream about sour cherry scones." Snow says. He reaches for them but I slap away his arm.

"You dream about things that could kill you?"

I dream about Snow. About him dancing and holding me and kissing the constellations of moles on him face.

"I had one before when I was eleven. It was so good." I raise an eyebrow at Snow for more reasons I can name. "How did you think I figured out I was allergic to cherries?" Snow asks. He winks at me which is mostly just awkward for us both.

Snow is a bloody mess. He's my bloody mess. My first and last text. My first and last thought. My world. My chosen one even if he doesn't chose me back.

It doesn't matter.

 _I chose you Simon Snow Salisbury._ I think. He's not looking at me, which is good because if he ever noticed the intensity of my look, he'd run away. I knew that from the start.

_I chose you. Every single time. Even if you're not a choice._

"Ten!"

I know this countdown. I know how it ends. I turn as a girl reaches Snow. A another pretty girl who pulls him by his jacket.

"One!" Everyone cheers and kisses.

Everyone but me.

* * *

 

**December 31st - 2015**

Snow is late. Actually he's just not early. But I've been at Penny's for hours. (I call her Penny. She's my actual friend now. We even did the whole coming-out thing.)

 _Where's Snow?_ I've been asking myself that for months. We went to different universities. I've felt lost without him by my side. 

I know he's left London already and he promised to come here. To come back to _me._

I want him to come here. I want him to hug me so I can pretend to be disgusted at him. I want him to joke with me and wear a dumb snap back and eye up food that he can't eat.

I want him. _Full stop._

"Baz!" Snow calls my name happily. So happily; as if I'm the only reason he came home. (I pretend that's why he came home, when I imagined our reunion in my head. But I also imagined kissing his moles.) 

"Baz. Baz. Baz!" Snow hugs me. I still have four and a half inches on him. "I'm back."

"I noticed." I meant to sound snarky. It's what Snow would expect from me. But I just sound happy. For once I don't care. 

Snow grew out his hair, it's long on the sides and still exploding from all angles. Some things never change. He's wearing a baggy blue jumper that matches his eyes and baggy jeans that look like they need a wash. He looks tired but bouncier than ever, hopping from one foot to the other. I want to hold him by his shoulders still. Hold him so he won't run away from me. (Not that Snow would.)

Maybe Snow just wants to dance. But I just want to hold him. No other intentions. I just want to hold Snow like he's mine.

Bronze curls. Messier and longer and wild. Blue eyes. Thick eyelashes and blue oceans that are glued on me.

 _Be mine, Simon Snow Salisbury._ I think. _I need you more than air._

**~~~**

Snow stays by my side. We talk to Trixie and her new girlfriend with blue hair and glitter on her nose. Then we talk to Penny and Agatha who figured things out. They're holding hands, even though their nail vanish clashes.

Snow pulls on me. Not that he has too. He's the centre of my universe and I'm just a planet that's lucky enough to spin around him.

"Baz." Snow says my name. That's all he's been saying tonight. Baz, Baz, Baz. "Dance with me?"

"I don't like dancing."

"I don't like missing you." Snow replies. He has a soft look in his eye. "Dance?"

I should say no but they're playing a love song. Snow's never asked me to dance to a love song before.

He puts one hand on my waist. And then the other. I do the same. It's not dancing. It's just swaying. But it's enough.

"Dance with me Baz."

"I am." I feel weak at the knees. I'm completely at his mercy. Forget dancing - Snow could stab me right now and I'd still hold onto him.

"Dance with me again?" Snow asks softly. He has freckles on his nose and I'm close enough to count them.

"Only to this song." I say. 'A Thousand Years' plays in the background. I hated Twilight. I love the song. I love Snow and his nineteen perfect nose freckles.

I love Simon Snow Salisbury.

**~~~**

We keep swaying until Penny pulls us away. Snow dances with a pretty girl that wasn't here last year.

I slip away, into the darkness like a true vampire. It's snowing and I hate that. I'm away from Snow and I hate that too. But it's better than to watch another midnight kiss that's not mine.

"Ten!" They're so loud, I can hear the obnoxious shouting from the garden. Then more shouting, closer shouting.

"Baz?"

"Eight!"

"Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch!" Snow yells out my full name like there's magic behind it. Maybe there is - I step out of the shadows.

"Three!"

Snow stops in front of me. I think I might kiss him because it's midnight and his lips are here and I'm hopelessly in love with him.

"Simon..." I start. I don't usually say his first name. I call him Snow. Not now.

He's smiling.

He's kissing me. I call him Snow but his mouth is warm. It's like kissing coffee. He's so warm and the world is so cold (because it's snowing).

He's the only Snow I care about now.

He's done this before. I should know; it's caused me enough heart ache in the past.

My heart isn't aching now.

"Baz." Simon says. "Baz you're mouth is delicious and deadly."

I blush.

"No seriously. Have you been eating sour cherry scones?"

I swear loudly. "Oh god Simon."

I pull his tablets from his jacket pocket and push them towards Simon. I watch Simon dry swallow them. He always makes a scene when he gulps.

"It's okay."

"I almost killed you." I say. I'm so stupid.

Simon laughs. "You probably will Baz."

"Just not today."

He smiles. "You called me Simon."

"I did not." I cross my arms and pretend to glare. (It's how I flirt.)

"Is it because everything changed?" Simon asks.

"Just one kiss hasn't changed everything."

"Who says it's going to be just one kiss?" Snow asks. I can't kiss his lips again now, so I settle on kissing his dimple. It makes him smile at least. Simon still smiles like the sun. And I'm still drawn to it. To him.

Fireworks explode but they're too late. The real firework display just happened and the only people who know are us. I take his hand in mine.

"Happy New Year Simon." I say, looking at the sky.

"Happy New Year Baz." Simon replies, resting his head on my shoulder.


End file.
